Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize