Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
