Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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