I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
