You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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