I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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