North Korea, Best Korea!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
