just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just high enough for therapy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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