They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
