I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I enjoy the company of your penis
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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