If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
