i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
