Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
