I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
