Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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