you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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