marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
