The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
