high people should be assigned attendants
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
