Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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