you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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