If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
