So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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