lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
