Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
