Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
