So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
