Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
