take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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