At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize