Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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