Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
