the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am available for nakedness
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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