I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
