he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
