come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
