there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize