I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
