Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
