From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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