You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dicks are not precious.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
