Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
