it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
