I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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