Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
