Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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