Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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