i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
