he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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