This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
