you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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