I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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