textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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