Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
