I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
