I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
