oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
