Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
