On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
do nipples grow back?
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