I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
