Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
