I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
