If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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