i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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