you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
birth control should be required to get into college
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
