This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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