there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
