Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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