So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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