Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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